Gifts of Appreciation
Now you can get your autographed special edition copy of Dr. Carlson’s new book, The Power of One Thing when you become a Family and Friends monthly partner or increase your monthly support. Below are just two excerpts from the book which we're sure you'll find compelling and insightful.
Survival versus Significance
By Dr. Randy L. Carlson
I’ve been a counselor, coach, and consultant for twenty-five years. During that time I’ve helped patch up a lot of people and get them back into the game of life. However, too many of them fell right back into the same old hole.
As a result, I was a frustrated people helper. Then, a couple of years ago, I decided that I would give the rest of my days to help people who are committed and intentional about pursuing life at a higher level. Those who succeed and move on with their lives are those who consciously decide to grow, change, and head in a healthy new direction. They are committed to and intentional about making their lives better. I’m not talking about perfection, which cannot be attained here on earth. But today I look for people who are committed to pursuing an intentional life in Christ. If that’s your desire too, I am convinced you can succeed. As an Intentional Living coach, I am passionate about helping you turn your good intentions into reality.
Most people spend their days trying to simply survive—survive at work to get a promotion and a bigger paycheck and put more into their pension plan so they can retire. Or survive in marriage without ever expecting to give or receive the deep, abiding love that every couple should experience. Or survive in raising their kids until they grow up and leave the house.
In survival mode we focus on three things. First, we focus on perfection—keeping it together for appearance’s sake. This is really a form of control. When we act like perfectionists, we are frustrated by our quest to be perfect. We’re concerned about what other people think. Second, in survival mode we hold on tightly to things—whether people, jobs, or rules—because they give us meaning. We stick around people who help us feel better about ourselves, or we stay in a job because it has a title or a paycheck. Third, we start to identify with what we own—a home, a car, a boat—and then want more things to help us feel more secure.
The goal of intentional living is to move from survival to significance. In significance mode, you focus on managing risk as best you can. Yet you do so, not to look good on the outside, but to keep from being distracted from your goal. Second, you are sold out to a purpose, a plan, or a passion, not to things. Your title or job or spouse or home or possessions aren’t what give you significance. In fact, your goal is simplicity, which allows you to focus on your priorities. You are willing to give away things and help others. C. S. Lewis captured the wisdom of this approach when he said, “Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours.”
In The Power of One Thing, we’ll consider how to decide which one small thing will get you on the road to significance. After all, you must be intentional and choose how you live; otherwise, simply by default, life will choose for you. I know I don’t want to live that kind of random, unfocused life. Do you?
1. C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: HarperCollins, 1952), 227.
From The Power of One Thing by Dr. Randy Carlson, Tyndale House Publishers, available September 2009. Used by permission.
Why “One Thing” Really Does Make a Difference
By Dr. Randy L. Carlson
We can really only live today one thing—one thought, one idea, one relationship, one phone call—at a time. Matthew 6:34 tells us, “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” We can’t rush ahead; we can’t lag behind.
So how does change happen? Think of it this way:
One thing done once is an experience
One thing done twice has your attention
One thing done often is a pursuit
One thing done always is a habit
It’s been said that our choices become our habits and our habits become our character. They add up and determine the overall quality of our lives.
As you learn to choose one small change and focus on it one day at a time, your life is going to get better. After you have made the first thing a habit and experienced the satisfaction of having achieved a small but significant milestone, you can tackle one more thing with energy and confidence.
I’ve seen it happen—in my own life and in those of others—doing just one thing differently can produce significant and lasting changes for the better.
The key is how you manage each of the “one things” you do each day—the tasks, conversations, relationships, projects that make up our lives. Remember the advice of Solomon, “Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise” (Proverbs 6:6 NIV). Ants are commonly thought of as industrious creatures. Ever noticed how absolutely focused they appear as they head back to their colonies, hauling a crumb several times bigger than themselves?
In this proverb, Solomon urges unmotivated individuals to follow the ants’ example. He knew that people who do one thing intentionally over an extended period of time can change their lives:
Doing one thing to intentionally love your spouse each day will change your marriage.
Doing one thing to intentionally read God’s Word and pray each day for even a few minutes will lead to spiritual growth in your life.
Once you begin linking a number of these one small things—like pearls on a chain—each representing one small, positive change, you eventually will have a long, solid chain of improvements.
From The Power of One Thing by Dr. Randy Carlson, Tyndale House Publishers, available September 2009. Used by permission.
