A Journey through Father Wounds with Kia Stephens
Embracing healing and God’s unconditional love
Kia Stephens, author of “Overcoming Father Wounds: Exchanging Your Pain for God’s Perfect Love,” recognizes the significance of father wounds in people’s lives and the subsequent effects on their relationships, including their relationship with God. Family Life Radio spoke with Kia about understanding father wounds, their connection with your perception of God and how to find healing through God’s love.
Understanding Father Wounds
Father wounds are the deep emotional pain that stems from an absentee or emotionally unavailable father. Such wounds can be caused by various reasons, such as divorce, addiction or a father’s struggle with mental health issues. In her book, Kia Stephens shares personal stories and experiences that illustrate the challenges faced by those who have suffered father wounds.
Kia said, “My heart for wanting to write this book is so that every woman would know what your father did to you is not an indication of the love of God.”
The Connection between Father Wounds and Perception of God
The impact of father wounds extends beyond personal relationships and often influences your relationship with God. Sociologists have found that people tend to perceive God based on the characteristics of their fathers or father figures. In some cases, those with father wounds may wrestle with the idea of a loving and caring God, as their own experiences with their fathers have been less than ideal.
Kia said, “I have discovered that just because God allows things that are painful and difficult in our lives, it doesn’t negate the nature of who God is. God is still holy. God is still compassionate. God is still intimately concerned about the details of my life.”
Healing from Father Wounds
For those who have experienced father wounds, it is crucial to address the pain caused and open yourself up to the healing process. This journey may be challenging and take time, but recognizing the need for healing is essential for improving your life and relationships.
Kia shared, “I got to go to God as my source and say, ‘Lord, will you fill in this gap, this space right here? That’s still a little tender. That still causes me to weep from time to time. Will you bring about the healing that that I need in order to continue to live out my faith in this life?’”
Turning to God for Healing
- Accepting your relationships with your earthly father is the first step toward healing.
- From there, seeking God’s love, comfort and healing is essential in overcoming father wounds.
- Embracing God’s perfect love and grace allows individuals to find solace and healing, even in the face of deep emotional pain.
Romans 8:38 says, “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love” (NLT).
It’s important to remember that God is not like our earthly fathers. Kia said. “God chose to reveal himself to us so often in the Scriptures as ‘Heavenly Father.’ He could have chosen Heavenly Mother. … Heavenly cousin or uncle or aunt, but he chose a father. And I, I think that it’s not happenstance. God is very intentional in the words that He uses in the pages of Scripture. He’s very intentional in what he chooses to do and not do.”
Kia Stephens is a wife and mom of two who is passionate about helping women know God as Father. For this reason, she created The Father Swap Blog to help women exchange their father wounds for the love of God the Father. Kia is also the founder of Entrusted Women, which she created to equip Christian women communicators of color. In addition to these ministries, Kia faithfully serves in Bible Study Fellowship and her local church in Atlanta, Georgia. When Kia is not writing or serving women, she enjoys spending quality time with her family and friends. Kia released her first book, Overcoming Father Wounds, on March 7, 2023. Kiastephens.com
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