Getting Along with Your Former Spouse

Be always humble, gentle, and patient. Show your love by being tolerant with one another. 3 Do your best to preserve the unity which the Spirit gives by means of the peace that binds you together.

─ Ephesians 4:2-3 GNT

It’s no surprise that research shows children from divorced couples fare better when their parents make getting along a priority. Divorced couples need to find common ground for many reasons. Getting along with a former spouse ranks as the most difficult part of divorce, but it’s vitally important to harmonize shared priorities and commitments. You owe that to yourself and to your children, if you have them.

No longer a couple, you must redefine your relationship. You’re adults with a shared responsibility. Putting the past behind you will be difficult, but you must do the best you can together to recognize how your relationship has changed and adjust how you interact with one another accordingly, especially when it comes to co-parenting.

Our verse today is one that will help you in any relationship but can prove especially beneficial when endeavoring to get along with your former spouse. Always (not just when you feel like it) be humble, gentle, and patient. Show your love (and God’s love) by being open-minded, and unbiased with one another.

Here are four keys to remember when working out your differences with your former spouse:

  1. Redefine the relationship.
  2. Stay away from trigger events or words.
  3. Define your goals (i.e. What do you need to work together on?)
  4. Pray for each of you to have the attitude of Christ.

It is likely communication will not be any easier than it was during the marriage, but having a goal in mind helps. If your primary desire is to cooperate in parenting, keep that goal front and center. If your target is to resolve family or personal conflicts, keep that in focus.

Today’s One Thing

If you’re divorced, choose a goal to work on in getting along with your spouse over the next 30 days. Place this verse in the forefront of your mind as you work toward this goal. If you are not divorced, pray for someone you know that may need help in this area.


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