Maybe It’s Not You
You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters.
– 1 Peter 1:22 NLT
Maybe It’s Not You
“I just don’t get it,” Kara said sadly, “those closest to me are the ones that can hurt me most.”
“It’s not you,” her friend, Jill, encouraged. “The ugly things people say or the way they treat you usually have nothing to do with you. It comes from deep within their own insecurities, pain from past relationships and hurts that never healed. You are a safe place for them because they know your love for them is unconditional. It doesn’t mean it’s okay.”
John 12:42-43 (ESV) says, “Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would not be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.”
Many believed Jesus but let the fear of the Pharisees keep them from confessing Him as Lord. If they were forced from the temple, they could lose their livelihood as well as their comfortable and accepted place within their community.
It’s difficult not to care what others think. It’s human nature to want to be loved, appreciated, secure and favored, especially those you love. Only when you step outside of the emotion can you see the pressure insecure individuals apply as something they need to resolve within themselves. It very seldom has anything to do with you.
As you remove yourself from the equation, you can help them by praying for them, and help yourself by not feeling like you have to fit their mold in order to be accepted and loved.
Today’s One Thing
Think about your most difficult relationship from the perspective that the person’s actions may have nothing to do with you. How does that change your perspective? Ask God to help you heal from the hurt and give you wisdom to approach the relationship differently.