Power in the Practice – Good Emotional Intelligence with Coach Dar
Walk in God’s plans and others will be drawn to Christ
Emotional Intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control and express one’s emotions, to handle interpersonal relationships with good judgment and understanding, and the ability to share the feelings of others. Your Emotional Quotient is your level of Emotional Intelligence.
Darleen Santore, or Coach Dar, as she is widely known is a Board-Certified Occupational Therapist, business executive, author and speaker. She believes your “EQ” is critical to your success.
“EQ is literally everything,” Coach Dar explained. “Because if we do not have awareness, we do not know what to change. We do not know how to shift in order to keep following our God-given purpose.”
After suffering from a stroke, knowing she had a blood clot that could end her life at any moment, Coach Dar left her Occupational Therapist position at a hospital, and eventually God led her to working with individuals, corporate executives and all the major sports leagues as players’ personal and mental skills coach.
She chatted with Family Life Radio about how important EQ is, comparing it with what the sports professionals must do to be the best.
“The pros have to watch film every day,” Coach Dar explained. “Everything they do is being watched back each day and critiqued in real time. That helps them adjust so they can get back to being great, to doing what they need to.”
Coach Dar went on to explain that it’s the same for us. That is what Emotional Intelligence is. It is self-awareness. It’s how you are showing up, what you are doing and how you are affecting others.
Emotional Intelligence is:
- Your tone.
- Your cadence or inflection of your voice.
- Your speech.
- How you are impacting people, or not.
- How you make people feel when you walk into a room.
Are you making people feel like they are walking on eggshells, or are they confident that with you on their team, they are going to win?
Coach Dar believes you must –
- Keep moving in order to keep from being stuck.
- Use the gifts God gave you.
- Continue to raise the bar and pursue excellence.
- Do what you do and do it well.
You don’t want to be in the same place a year from now that you are in right now.
- Focus on your God-given purpose.
- Put routines in place and move through them with Emotional Intelligence.
Coach Dar explained, “Make the mundane work for you. Then suddenly it begins to add up and turn into greatness! God did not give us life so we could be mediocre. He did not give you your gift so you could just be average. He is God, and He gave you a gift so you could go be great to help others. And then you see, it is all Him.”
Jesus is your ultimate coach.
You may be the only “church” some people experience. You are a walking example.
Coach Dar shared, “I want what people experience to be one that feels of love, acceptance, kindness, grace and mercy. I walk my faith out every day. I just hope that people feel love when they’re around me. That’s the greatest thing we can do.”
Because of this, Coach Dar has had opportunities to share her faith. One time an athlete came to her just before a game and asked if she’d tell him about her testimony for God. She had never talked to him about it before, but he knew from hearing her speak, how she carried herself, from other conversations and her responses that her faith was important to her. He wanted it to be an important part of his life.
At the end of each day, Coach Dar does some reflection, reminding herself what her goal or purpose is. Then she takes spiritual and EQ inventory, asking herself where she messed up. Did she say something in a way she didn’t intend to when she was stressed? She doesn’t “beat herself up,” but to keep herself in check, she asks herself how she could be better.
In real time, if Coach Dar needs to apologize, she does so in order to show compassion and God’s love. Her desire is to honor God with her words and actions.
“When you are in constant reflection,” Coach Dar said, “And trying to be your best version of yourself, that requires EQ. That leads you to your purpose faster and keeps you flowing in your purpose.”
“Reflection and taking inventory are like bumpers in bowling,” Coach Dar shared, “They keep you on track.”
Practicing good EQ, showing love, understanding and integrity draws people to want to know more about Christ.
If you missed the first and second blogs from Coach Dar, click here for 1 and here for 2.
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